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It is Bum Day

I suggest we all chip in and buy BB a bouquet of naga jolokia chillis to welcome her return to the world of those who can sit.

Published by John Techno at 9:24am on Sun 26th February 2012. Viewed 6,234 times.

Deleted Post

Published by Belladonic Media (not active) at 12:06pm on Sun 26th February 2012.

Ha fucking ha. Still in, feeling like I've been booted up the arse.

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 2:18pm on Sun 26th February 2012.

Need a piss but can't be arsed to get up. Do you think they'll mind if I just go in bed?

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 2:25pm on Sun 26th February 2012.

^ Shewee it on to Andrew Lansley's face on tv monitor ;-]

Published by daggg at 3:14pm on Sun 26th February 2012.

More seriously - get well soon, BB. I've never had piles but I've experienced many a kick up the arse over the years (and ridden 60 miles with a broken bike saddle) so I have some idea what it must feel like.

Published by John Techno at 4:44pm on Sun 26th February 2012.

Published by Wrongfellow at 5:26pm on Sun 26th February 2012.

If that's some sort of goatse-with-piles I'm going to kill you. *clicks...*

Published by John Techno at 5:30pm on Sun 26th February 2012.

hehe, i couldn't help but think goetse too before i clicked.

but cheers JT, got home about four and have been dozing on and off since. Pain wise, it's just a dull ache, so really quite bearable. Still feeling spaced out from the general anaesthetic though. They also gave me a local, so have had a numb nethers all day, which was bloody weird - you can feel them but they can't feel you - very odd.

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 10:57pm on Sun 26th February 2012.

Congratulations BB on your new and improved bum!

Published by Wrongfellow at 11:35pm on Sun 26th February 2012.

Cheers Wrongun'! Before and after pix to follow soon :P

One thing I remember after coming round from my anaesthetic was getting weepy with gratitude at living in a country with free healthcare. Okay, so in the whole scheme of things it was neither a serious nor absolutely vital procedure, but if it's successful (and I seriously fucking hope I'm one of the 80% who don't need a repeat operation) then my life will be a lot more comfortable and pleasant. For this I am immensely thankful.

A serious and vital fuck-you to Andrew Lansley for trying to dismantle such an amazing system we have. Yes it's flawed, but when you experience good care as I did today, it's incredibly humbling. I feel a letter coming on.

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 1:56am on Mon 27th February 2012.

I felt exactly the same when I had my op back in October

Published by lucysferrets at 1:15pm on Mon 27th February 2012.

I had a rant at some fat Yank wanker who was in the same ward as me when I went in a few years back. He was pissed off because he'd been there for two hours and a doctor hadn't seen him yet, so he started slating the NHS and shouting at the nurses about how crap they and the entire system is compared to the way they do things in the USA. The NHS is probably the one thing we can most feel proud about in this country as far as I'm concerned, so I set him right on a few facts and called him some nasty names.

Published by John Techno at 2:10pm on Mon 27th February 2012.

I have bum surgery on Wednesday as it happens. I have a big juicy skin flap right on my sphincter (I can supply photo if you want).
Im having a general anesthetic and am shitting meself . I really hope I dont fart as they use the cauterize doohdah.

Published by bigmal at 3:29pm on Mon 27th February 2012.
This reply has been edited, last edit at 2:11pm on Tue 28th February 2012.

Another quality Bigmal thread: tells you all you want to know and then some in just 48 efficient words (and no apostrophes).

Published by John Techno at 3:32pm on Mon 27th February 2012.

i've had a rubbish day. pain is minimal but still completely knocked out. bored with sleeping. i'm stopping taking the opiate-like painkillers they've given me as they just space me out too much. years ago i would've loved it, but all i want is to get back to normal asap. i'm a rubbish sickgirl.

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 6:52pm on Mon 27th February 2012.

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Published by Belladonic Media (not active) at 7:41pm on Mon 27th February 2012.

i'm getting sick of the bum/grape jokes now.

good luck bigmal,

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 1:53pm on Tue 28th February 2012.

My bottom is getting really scared!
What is it like gettin a general anesthetic?
Will I be able to ride my motorbike home?
Will I be able to go to the pub afterwards?
Will it make me go to sleep for ages?

Can I havea meal tonight? I want too eat my meatballs!

Published by bigmal at 2:10pm on Tue 28th February 2012.
This reply has been edited, last edit at 2:16pm on Tue 28th February 2012.

>My bottom is getting really scared!

Understood!

What is it like gettin a general anesthetic?

They insert a needle into a vein in your hand just prior to going into the operating theatre. They had problems with me because my vein retracted so it's best to relax. He said it's going to feel like a gin and tonic, which it did. I felt woozy then i was out in about three seconds. in terms of safety, it's a lot safer than it ever has been. your anaesthetist will be monitoring you throughout your procedure.

>Will I be able to ride my motorbike home?

most definitely not. you won't be allowed to go home alone and you won't be able to operate machinery (including kettle and cooker) for 24 hours afterwards.

>Will I be able to go to the pub afterwards?

Don't be ridiculous. A resounding no.

>Will it make me go to sleep for ages?

Yes. I slept pretty much all of Sunday and yesterday but stayed awake in the evening as some friends bought food round for me.

>Can I havea meal tonight? I want too eat my meatballs!

You will have to stop eating after a certain time, either midnight or 2am. You should have all the details of this though. You will be able to drink water only until 5am. Do not drink booze up to 48 hours prior to surgery. If you drink or eat there's a chance you will be sick during or after surgery which could jeopardise your safety, hence the importance of adhering to nil by mouth.

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 2:32pm on Tue 28th February 2012.

What a weird experience, I had the cannula in me and the anesthetist ans his mate were talking about footy then he said where do you like going on holiday. I said India. Next thing i felt like going I was begging to fly. Next thing I knew they were waking me up, smiling at me asking how my holiday was.
Amazing. So relaxing. Was like having a lover massaging you after really good sex.

Published by bigmal at 11:53pm on Wed 29th February 2012.

hehe. what post-op painkillers did they give you?

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 12:15am on Thu 1st March 2012.

Hey BB its good to talk to you again :0)

I have Diclofenac sodium and codeine phosphate hemihydrate

Published by bigmal at 12:33am on Thu 1st March 2012.

well, it's been a while bigmal. really quite laughable that mutual bum surgery has broken your wall of silence towards me ;)

i was given tramadol. i had minimal pain though and they spaced me out too much so haven't taken them since monday.

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 1:23am on Thu 1st March 2012.

^ Bum chums ;-]

Published by daggg at 1:26am on Thu 1st March 2012.

don't. you'll make them pop out again ;D

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 1:33am on Thu 1st March 2012.

Glad to hear you're both feeling alright.

Published by arthurCRS at 9:23am on Thu 1st March 2012.

You will have to stop eating after a certain time, either midnight or 2am.

Bigmal isn't allowed to eat after midnight anyway. He turns into gremlin if he does.

Published by John Techno at 11:55am on Thu 1st March 2012.

I had a 4 pack of kronnie last night, went down a treat.

Published by bigmal at 12:21pm on Thu 1st March 2012.

nutter.

i spoke to my doc this morn and she just said that i was bombed from having two anaesthetics. i have to say the past few days feel like i've been on a massive comedown. bit more normal today thank fuck. might even get out into the garden for a potter.

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 2:27pm on Thu 1st March 2012.

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 5:07pm on Thu 1st March 2012.

My bum is so sore. I think the stitches have burst. It's bleeding when I sit :0(

Published by bigmal at 9:54pm on Fri 2nd March 2012.

Fucking hell - makes me almost relieved that I've just had hernias.

Published by Kuryakin at 10:04pm on Fri 2nd March 2012.

You need to call hospital asap. You would have been given some numbers with your discharge papers and meds.

Published by Boudicea Bambaataa at 10:21am on Sat 3rd March 2012.
This reply has been edited, last edit at 10:22am on Sat 3rd March 2012.

God this takes me back. Good times eh. My bottom is much better now and is no longer scared. I remember the gas man saying whats your favorite thing on holiday, I shouted out "women with big ti....." and I was out cold...

Published by bigmal at 2:17pm on Sat 5th August 2017.

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