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Aggressive beggars near the Mill Pond

EvilDuck300

As I sat down next to the river to eat my sandwich earlier, it was only a matter of moments before I was accosted by a pair of beggars who started noisily and aggressively demanding food.

I've never seen them get this pushy before; they were coming right into my personal space, noisily poking and prodding at me, and even making repeated attempts to steal one of my shoelaces.

This photo shows the male during one of his attacks on my foot.

Published by Wrongfellow at 3:31pm on Sat 10th December 2011. Viewed 5,526 times.

EvilDuckess300

And in this photo we can see the female, whose diminutive stature belies the look of sheer evil which emanates from her jet-black eyes, piercing your very soul to its core.

What is this city coming to when law-abiding citizens can't even sit down to enjoy a quiet sandwich without being subjected to this harassment?

It was only a couple of months ago that John Techno and I narrowly escaped being mauled by a swarm of flesh-eating piranha ducks in Bury St Edmunds, and now this, in my home town - practically on my doorstep.

Is it just me, or have the waterfowl been getting a lot more satanic over the last couple of years?

I'm starting to get quite scared.

Published by Wrongfellow at 3:31pm on Sat 10th December 2011.
This reply has been edited, last edit at 3:32pm on Sat 10th December 2011.

I voted Tory in the hope that the party for law and order would bring a halt to this sort of thing.

Published by John Techno at 3:41pm on Sat 10th December 2011.

Can't stand it when people grouse about bad behaviour.

Published by DeFrev at 3:43pm on Sat 10th December 2011.

They truly are fowl, though.

Published by John Techno at 3:44pm on Sat 10th December 2011.

You're lucky they didn't beat you up. They look like (mall)'ard bastards to me.

Published by John Techno at 3:56pm on Sat 10th December 2011.

Its enough to send you quackers

Published by bigmal at 4:17pm on Sat 10th December 2011.

http://youtu.be/m3ctaT4-14I as Silent Rob would like to point out

Published by rishistar at 4:59pm on Sat 10th December 2011.
This reply has been edited, last edit at 5:00pm on Sat 10th December 2011.

They also like painted toenails and peck at them thinking there are food. Lucky you had yours covered up ;-]

Published by daggg at 5:00pm on Sat 10th December 2011.

http://youtu.be/m3ctaT4-14I

That is quackin' superb!

Published by Wrongfellow at 5:16pm on Sat 10th December 2011.

Deleted Post

Published by Silent Rob at 8:46pm on Sat 10th December 2011.

EvilBitingDucks200

As if more evidence were needed that ducks are turning to the Devil...

Published by Wrongfellow at 6:55pm on Mon 16th January 2012.

Ducks

Am I the only one who thinks Spielberg's missing an opportunity here...?

Published by John Techno at 7:32pm on Mon 16th January 2012.

Emma college is one of my favourites. It has a secret duckpond

Evidence of the Devil's influence at work continues to mount...

Published by Wrongfellow at 11:30am on Fri 17th August 2012.

images

Stop Ducking the issue.

In other news I noticed that Star Radio is using an Ely Hideous Duck with a gun to it's head, listen to Star radio or the duck gets it....

The Hideous Ducks have been persecuted enough recently.

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Home/Do-not-feed-ducks-at-all-says-new...

Published by Grape Face at 12:22pm on Fri 17th August 2012.

The are two Muscovy Ducks living on Stourbridge Common at the moment. They must have migrated from Ely after such trials and persecutions.

For some reason you only found those ducks in Ely. I don't know why.

Published by Silent Rob at 1:14pm on Fri 17th August 2012.

I wonder if there are Ely ducks in Moscow?

(Even though Muscovy ducks actually come from Central America, not Moscow.)

Published by John Techno at 2:20pm on Fri 17th August 2012.

After searching apparently you can also see Muscovy Ducks in Lincoln as well as Ely, but nowhere else. Perhaps someone is introducing them to small English Cathedral Cities as a prank?

I shall probably go round Stourbridge Common later, I'll see if the ones I saw are still there. I saw a pair of them, next to the cattlegrid that leads to Riverside by the river a few weeks ago.

Published by Silent Rob at 2:26pm on Fri 17th August 2012.

The rise of the anatine menace continues apace.

This afternoon I was sitting on the green in Ely watching the ducks when a police car turned up.

All the ducks started furiously quacking at it, and it actually turned round and drove off again.

Have the ducks now formed some kind of Mafia-like crime syndicate and infiltrated the police force?

Are they now a threat to our national security, our economic security and your family's security?

(Ducks 1, police nil. LOL.)

Published by Wrongfellow at 8:50pm on Mon 14th September 2015.

Ducks are anarchists, obviously.

Published by John Techno at 1:05am on Tue 15th September 2015.

i'd have thought crows were anarchists.... all black, individualist, masters of chaos and disorder?

Published by foolscap (not active) at 2:02am on Tue 15th September 2015.

Reviewing this thread for more evidence of feathered wrongdoing, I found Grape Face's link, which has since expired. "Aha!" I thought. "Are the ducks censoring the media to conceal the unwelcome truth?"

The truth proved even harder to uncover than the identity of the fugitive Willow Wanderer. Merely clicking on "I'm Feeling Lucky" proved insufficient; instead I had to use far more advanced Googlemancy to discover that it is now here: http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/feed-ducks-says-new-petition/story-223...

And there it is, the truth that the mainstream media doesn't want you to know: the originator of this story, the so-called "Dr Victoria Ling", actually looks a bit like CERSEI LANNISTER from GAME OF THRONES! Has she been secretly masterminding this plot all along?

Armed with this information, I have no doubt that I will be able to identify many more parallels between the duckine menace and the voluminous fiction of George R. R. Martin. Ducks, beware. I know you're watching me. Now know that I am watching you, too.

Published by Wrongfellow at 8:36pm on Tue 15th September 2015.

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