If you're going to heckle, then do it properly

From Drownedinsound.com:

"bono took to the stage...

BONO: (clapping) Everytime I clap, a child in Africa dies!

SOME GUY IN CROWD: well stop fucking clapping then."

hahah i've heard that before...

two best responses to hecklers i've seen were Thom Yorke going "shut up you cunt" during a song to some guy, and Kevin Drew Broken Social Scene telling some guy who was heckling at the scala last week that he was going to dance with him, and proceeded to drag him onto the stage and slow danced with him during a song...

Shut up you cunt" is hardly the height of genius is it?

nah, its not, but onstage infront of 5000 odd during a piano song being performed solo, it was a bit more hilarious than genius.

but the slow dancing WAS genius.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1067/1351760641_b3eec9d146_b.jpg

The "shut up you cunt" remix of _I Want None Of This_ at the Apollo was fucking hilarious.

I was at that BSS gig too - the slow dance ruled! I didn't think it was much of a heckle though, the guy was just saying he didn't need to apologise!

Todd Trainer's reaction to the heckler at Shellac's second ATP vs The Fans set was good - not so much witty, just aggressive and kind of scarey.

Trainer's rant about that guy's polo shirt and white sunglasses was one of the best things I've ever seen.

I love the live CD on Mcluskyism where they deal with a heckler. Quality.

Hello Richardrichard. Thanks for sticking up for Daddy.

Haha - I'd forgotten the Trainer's Matt's Dad thing... that was good though, scary yes, but very well done.

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excellent! did it really happen?

I was with my eternally cynical friend Tunde at a gig in London recently and we got there just in time for a pretty appalling support band. At the end of their first song, about 3 minutes into their set, Tunde shouted enthusiastically:

"One more! One more!"

I've also come across heckles of "Play some Slayer". That comes up a lot, always makes me smile.

The best heckling story I ever heard:

Kirk Douglas's non-famous, non-talented son, Eric, was a very poor stand-up comedian, who failed to establish an sort of career despite his family connections. Once, he came over to England to do a gig somewhere in London. As he was not very good, he was dying on his arse. Eventually he lost his temper and screamed at the audience "Don't you know who I am?! I'm Kirk Douglas's son!!"

At this point someone stood up near the back of the crowd and shouted back "No! I'm Kirk Douglas's son!!"...

http://b3ta.com/questions/heckles/

I'd heard that Kirk Douglas's son story too - it's excellent.

Alexei Sayle once put down a heckler wityh the old 'It's OK, I remember when I had my first drink,too' line - then went on to say 'That's my repartee fucked. The only other one I've got is "Fuck off you cunt"...but I'm saving that for the Royal Variety Performance'.

Think this first one is an urban myth:

Phil Jupitus when heckled as to why he is so fat 'cos evey time I went round and fucked your mum she gave me a slice of cake'

This one I did witness:

Marc Almond during gig at Union Chapel ' I don't come and shout at you when you behind the counter at McDonalds'

LOl to marc almond

my friend (haha, the terrorist-guitarist from holmenated) heckled the vichy government

"This is our new single, its called "Rubbish""
"Is it any good???"

he loves them really. its fine.

The most famous heckle must still be the "Judas"at the bod Dylan gig when he plays electric guitar for the first time .

Yeah, but the Judas heckle was a bit shit, as it was folk nazis whinging.

But it`s the one that will Always be remembered .i listened to an interesting story on radio 4 about this reporter who was trying to track down the geezer who shouted out. apparently two people have said it was therm .

It was me actually.

I remember Pete Um dealing with a drunk heckler at the Boat Race once by calling him a "ginger cunt". When the heckler got pissed off at this Um replied "sorry, you're not a ginger cunt........... you're strawberry blond!"

Which amused me greatly!

this is a good example of how not to deal with hecklers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MEwruLzgdU&mode=related&search=

A specific "you wouldn't steal a car" advert comes on, to be greeted with

"I would if i could fucking download one"

i like that

The Phil Jupitus one actually originated as a cricket sledge.

Should be fun sledging by the English of the Aussies in the 20-20 tomorrow...provided we don't embaress ourselves by loosing to Zimbawe as well!

Glenn McGrath asked Eddo Brandes how come he was so fat. Brandes replied "because every time I fuck your wife she gives me a biscuit".

I was once told off mid-set at the CornEx by the John Lennon character in a Beatles tribute band for looking more like John Lennon than he did.
(They were only the support band, we didn't go to see them specially ;-)